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I wouldn’t need Facebook if there was a website that just told me whether or not my exes got fat.
Have you ever felt so alone and nothing makes sense? Well that’s how I feel right now…I feel like I’m facing everything myself, with nothing but tears and a fake smile
True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.
I believe that all wisdom consists in caring immensely for a few right things, and not caring a straw about the rest.
When shit goes down and sides are taken, you find out who was real and who was fakin.
In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy. The truth is precisely the opposite: it begins all.
I’d rather be a bitch than a hoe. I’d rather tell it like it is than blow every guy I know.
Someone needs to tell my haters that they just can’t do it like me!
Love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies.
Everything I like is either illegal, immoral, fattening, addictive, expensive, or impossible.
I don’t believe one grows older. I think that what happens early on in life is that at a certain age one stands still and stagnates.
Hope is putting faith to work when doubting would be easier.
That awkward moment when a fat kid says “thats how I roll”.
‘Twas not my lips you kissed But my soul
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
10 ways to love: listen, speak, give, pray, answer, share, enjoy, trust, forgive, promise.
That awkward moment when Obama is born in Hawaii and Donald Trump starts asking for proof that Hawaii is a state
That awkward moment when you buy a bag of air and there’s chips inside.
You must have control of the authorship of your own destiny. The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand.
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