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You don’t die from a broken heart . You only wish you did.
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.
You fall out of your mother’s womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.
I walk slowly & it kills me that you don’t care enough to stop me.
If you can’t be a pencil to write anyone’s happiness, then try to be a nice eraser to remove someone’s sadness.
Friends are the Bacon Bits in the Salad Bowl of Life.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
That awkward moment when Michael Scott says anything.
Are we not like two volumes of one book?
Life doesn’t simply ends when sorry starts, neither does it start when sorry ends, its a cycle.
A friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be anywhere else.
Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
I do what I do and I do it well.
Remember, You are born to live, don’t live just because you are born. Don’t go the life takes you, take the life way you want.
The real danger of chewing gum at school isn’t being caught by your teachers, its being caught by your friends
Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.
She straightens her hair, puts on her eyeliner, glosses her lips & takes one last look in the mirror, all for the boy who will never care.
I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.
Change before you have to.
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
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