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Don’t rush into any kind of relationship. Work on yourself. Feel yourself, experience yourself and love yourself. Do this first and you will soon attract that special loving other.
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying ‘boy was that fun.’
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
When I meet a female I never judge her by where she’s at in life, I judge her by what she wants out of life.
That awkward moment when your nanny turns out to be your ex husband disguised as 60-year-old British caretaker.
There is hope and a kind of beauty in there somewhere, if you look for it.
Try to say the letter ‘M’ without your lips touching.
When it comes to being happy, there’s no right or wrong. It’s just a battle between your happiness & their judgement.
Life doesn’t change, but people do. So learn to accept that not everybody is who you thought you knew
The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I’d been up all night inventing the Camcorder.
The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.
Stop letting unimportant issues get to you. Some people live to simply watch others become miserable.
Women are scientifically proven to be right even when they are wrong.
The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude.
Love is metaphysical gravity.
Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’re not good enough for anyone. Just means no one is good enough for you, yet.
Don’t be a RACIST, be like a PANDA. They’re Black, White, and Asian. yet… not mexican.. hmmm be a panda with a TACO!
I am going to call my kids Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they muck up I will just hit them all at once.
The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.
I might not be everything you ever wanted, but I’m always going to be more than you deserve.
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